It was followed by many issues. My finances, work challenges, health and now relationships.
I certainly do not know why I am reacting the way I am. And it will be really easy to find reasons to justify.
But that's not what I want.
Praise God that today He showed me how I am being renewed like the Eagles. They were renewed at age 40. I JUST turned 40!!!
So feathers get plucked off, beak and claws get pulled out.
Feels that way too. Physically I am getting restructured so I don't have to go through all the aches and pains when I grow older. I actually get the opportunity now to strengthen my muscles!!! Praise God.
And as much as I don't like it, as much as my flesh rears its ugly head toward both Jeann and Leonard, I too know that God is using this opportunity to restructure me mentally and emotionally.
And I don't know how it is going to happen. I only know it takes time. Heaps of time. Time that I don't feel I have.
But I guess the physical illness is teaching me some patience.
I hope that my emotional illness will also be healed and I can deal well with the situation.
Seriously, I don't know what else I can do already. I know I should talk to Leonard. But about what? What do I say? When is a good time?
The last messages I left him were questions to which he didn't reply. I don't know what to feel toward him either. And I really don't know what to do. Should I even call now. Or don't bother. Just give us both time?
As for Jeann, I really wana share with her but seriously, she is too pushy for my liking and I am withdrawing.
Yea I know she cares. However I definitely do not respond well to pressure. So what do I do?
Sigh..... God .... Help me.
What's wrong with me!!! Correct me of all my wrong thinking.
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