The pigs with the ring in their snout

How Lord How do I recognise the pigs going around with the beautiful ring in their snouts?! 

Just as I was unable to see that Jeremy is a pig and till now I still waver about him being a pig, I still do not quite know how to recognise which men in the long run are not good for me. 

Jeremy was "calculative" when we went out. Dating or not. N I had tot he was generous cos he took me home (at least in the beginning) and paid for some of my stuff. 

But i guess his generosity is selective. Not that we all aren't. We are too. But I think generous people generally are not selective bout being generous. 

A generous person will not pay the bill and then make comments about how expensive the food was. Jeremy had a knack of doing that whenever we went to fancy places. Obviously he doesn't do that when we go to hawker centre and all but yea... The fancy places.... 😔

N of cos he didn't treat me well. He definitely has issues. But somehow I couldn't see that. Probably cos I am not perfect either and I tot each of us needed compassion. Well I needed compassion so I didn't want to judge either. But I guess I wasn't able to differentiate between having compassion and letting someone hurt me. 

So Lord or Lord open my eyes and help me to see the men whom are not good for me and help me to walk far away from them. They are still my friends and brothers but no more than that. 

And if I should speak so that I can help them, then show me lord. 

I don't want to "hunt" anymore. It is tiring. Help me to see the meaning of life and enjoy the life n it's fruits that I have given me. 

Lies

What a good reminder - Look to JESUS!! 

He is my everything!! He is ALL my solutions!! He is ALL my providence!! 

How I feel, the impatience, the economic forcasts, the demands at work.... They have all been dealt with my Jesus already. I might not have seen the outcome yet.  But that doesn't mean that He hasn't provided. 

He has and the devil is trying to bluff me by getting me to focus on what I can see so I forget how faithful God is. 

FOCUS ON JESUS and ALL WILL BE WELL!! 

Ostracised

Good news is everywhere. 

And the warning against listening to the lies of the devil seems to have been muffled. 

Once again my good sista from Cg is attached. And I feel that those getting attached should be attached. There's nothing wrong with them. 

N for those unattached- me, Ruth, Sarah, Michelle..... I just feel like there's something wrong with us. We r somehow flawed that's why no one has wanted us thus far. 

Ruth n I have a temper. Sarah too is v strong willed. 

Will we ever have someone?! It's really painful to keep trusting and believing and yet not see thing happening. 

After such a long time, I really feel like giving up. On everything. Work, relationship, etc. I just want to waste away. I just want to die. 

Even though I have identified Jeremy as a pig wearing the ring on its snout, still, I miss him. Can't understand why. I just hate it. 

To the extent I want to just cut all ties with the world. 

I'm actually upset that he hasn't called me back or invited me to visit. It's all just words. 

And I just saw his profile pictures. There's nothing special bout him. In fact he looks fat! So why oh why I cannot let it go. 

Help me Lord! 

Let this be a year of rest and not stress. Let this be a year of enjoyment! 

Welcome!

I thank God for taking me back to Singapore. Although I had a rather difficult adjustment period and I still don't feel like I have fully adjusted, I am glad that I found peace before 2015 ended. 

Thank you for the awesome year I had and an amazing year that I will have moving forth. 

I know God has great plans for me. He said it Himself. He also said that He would make me a great leader just like Deborah the judge. 

And I trust God - that if He said it, it is settled! Doesn't matter what my circumstances say. Doesn't matter how I feel - bout myself or the world or my situations. 

Through the discussion cum argument I had with Wesley boy I got to read the bible. And i love every bit of it and all the time I spent n especially the revelations I had. 

It's not someone else's revelation but my own. It's not what jp said or Joel Osteen but the Holy Spirit. 

I also realise how easy it is to be tempted. Been praying for a reconciliation with Jeremy. To be given a second chance. And the minute I identity him as a pig with a gold ring in his stout I get an email fr him. 

Sigh. 

As much as I wish it is a God move, a God appointment I am mindful that it can also be the work of the devil to distract me. 

I just cleared myself of commitments to AGS which really strained me. There was nothing I could do and I was appalled by the behaviour of some people. It was draining me rather than having me accomplish great things. 

Yes no doubt it could also have been my attitudes n mindset that got in the way. If it was different perhaps I could have done more. 

Whatever it is, I know that now is not the time. 

For now, it's doing what I need so I can change my job - to get into banking compliance in AML. 

And well, along the way, enjoy the time and journey with ministry friends, dwelling in God's words, and then doing my favourite thing - travelling. 

I want to go to places to eat the things I like n I want to see the places where Paul went. Read bout those cities and how they are now. I Wana see the roman capital - both new n old before Constantine's time. 

Life is meant to be enjoyed. N that is my intention - to enjoy life. 

Don't Wana be bound by worried bout money and relationships anymore. 

Like what Ruth said - if the guy isn't here yet, it means it's not the right time. God wants me for Himself. 

Can get little angry at that. Cos sounds selfish. Yet there's so much love in that. God wants me for Himself!! 

Amazing!!